For more than 2 years, she had been strong about her ailment. She portrayed a strong-will person that none of her loved ones dare to show her disappointment nor anguish. Her treatment seems well but the relapse got hold of her multiple times. Finally near the end of 2015, the doctor advised that her treatments weren't effective and it would be better that she reduced her visits to the hospital. For 2 months, her health deteriorated.
On March 1st 2016, my mother lost her battle to cancer.
It struck me the very first time she broke the news to the family. I have been closed to my mum and it pained me to know the ordeal she went through. She didn't showed her suffering and managed to do chores like any other days, even taking orders for the Hari Raya like any other year. She would still cook her delicious delicacies that her children and siblings loved.
Slowly as months passed by, her activities slowed down drastically. She had bi-monthly and then weekly hospital visits for her treatments. She would come home restless and tired and would rest in bed. Her movement was then restricted as she grew frail. Soon, she could not support her own weight which she had lost drastically. My dad was at her side most of the time.
I did my best to stay by her side whenever I do not have plans. Either I would go to her or she would come over to my room and interrupt my activities which I gladly stalled. We would just talk nonsensical stuffs or share my well-beings. Some parts of her conversation revolves about preparing us during her passing. I shrugged at the topic but would still listen as it was still her request.
I was present during her last doctor's appointment. By then the family was prepared of the outcome, judging by her deteriorating condition. We made every possible moment to satisfy her cravings even though she would only take 1 or 2 spoonful. My dad would bring her out for strolls and the grandkids would come over the weekend to visit and talk to her. In the last month, she was bedridden it was quite difficult to move her.
I had planned to train for a marathon at Bedok Reservoir with a friend. I peeped into her room and noticed my dad tending to her like most days. I just spoke from outside that I was going out for a jog. Halfway around the reservoir, I received a call from my younger brother, saying mum had passed.
I didn't broke down but said a prayers for the deceased. I told my friend about the call and he was shocked. He forced me to cab home but I ensured that I was fine. It hadn't struck me well enough of the passing until I reached home where I met my sister and her family arriving.
Once we came into the home, my dad just came to us and hugged my sister and myself. Her family joined in. I made my way to the my mum and kissed her forehead. I washed up and help prepared the house for the people to pay their last respect. Since she passed at night, the burial procession would only be taken place the next day. Many relatives and close friends came to respect my mum till late. I managed to catch some sleep early in the morning.
Day break and I'm still sad looking at my mum lying there motionless. I sat beside her and recite a prayer for her. By then, more people started coming in. It felt similar to when my uncle, her brother, passed away and we held his procession at our home.
After the cleaning up the deceased, we had our last goodbye before she was wrapped and sent off to the Muslim Cemetery. My dad wanted to pray for the decease at the neighborhood mosque which he volunteers. Many of his friends came down to pay their respects as well. Many of my friends came down too, especially those whom I never thought would show up. After prayers, we set out to Choa Chu Kang Muslim Cemetery.
My younger brother, my brother-in-law and myself went into her grave to place her in her resting place. I requested to be holding her head so I can whisper my last goodbye in her ears before leaving her.
After the whole burial was completed with prayer recital, we slowly made our way home. I looked around at the people attending. I know that my mum was very closed to many. Both my brother and god-brother broke down during the final goodbye. My nephew was distraught throughout the whole ceremony. My father has been keeping himself occupied to hide his sorrow. Even in silence, I know how sad he was and that he doesn't want to show it.
I've lost my mum and I'm honored that she had prepared us for her passing. The whole ceremony was smooth as prepared by her in terms of monetary and directions. I am always glad of how my parents raised their children. I hope I didn't and wouldn't disappoint them.
Al-Fateha
On March 1st 2016, my mother lost her battle to cancer.
It struck me the very first time she broke the news to the family. I have been closed to my mum and it pained me to know the ordeal she went through. She didn't showed her suffering and managed to do chores like any other days, even taking orders for the Hari Raya like any other year. She would still cook her delicious delicacies that her children and siblings loved.
Slowly as months passed by, her activities slowed down drastically. She had bi-monthly and then weekly hospital visits for her treatments. She would come home restless and tired and would rest in bed. Her movement was then restricted as she grew frail. Soon, she could not support her own weight which she had lost drastically. My dad was at her side most of the time.
I did my best to stay by her side whenever I do not have plans. Either I would go to her or she would come over to my room and interrupt my activities which I gladly stalled. We would just talk nonsensical stuffs or share my well-beings. Some parts of her conversation revolves about preparing us during her passing. I shrugged at the topic but would still listen as it was still her request.
I was present during her last doctor's appointment. By then the family was prepared of the outcome, judging by her deteriorating condition. We made every possible moment to satisfy her cravings even though she would only take 1 or 2 spoonful. My dad would bring her out for strolls and the grandkids would come over the weekend to visit and talk to her. In the last month, she was bedridden it was quite difficult to move her.
I had planned to train for a marathon at Bedok Reservoir with a friend. I peeped into her room and noticed my dad tending to her like most days. I just spoke from outside that I was going out for a jog. Halfway around the reservoir, I received a call from my younger brother, saying mum had passed.
I didn't broke down but said a prayers for the deceased. I told my friend about the call and he was shocked. He forced me to cab home but I ensured that I was fine. It hadn't struck me well enough of the passing until I reached home where I met my sister and her family arriving.
Once we came into the home, my dad just came to us and hugged my sister and myself. Her family joined in. I made my way to the my mum and kissed her forehead. I washed up and help prepared the house for the people to pay their last respect. Since she passed at night, the burial procession would only be taken place the next day. Many relatives and close friends came to respect my mum till late. I managed to catch some sleep early in the morning.
Day break and I'm still sad looking at my mum lying there motionless. I sat beside her and recite a prayer for her. By then, more people started coming in. It felt similar to when my uncle, her brother, passed away and we held his procession at our home.
After the cleaning up the deceased, we had our last goodbye before she was wrapped and sent off to the Muslim Cemetery. My dad wanted to pray for the decease at the neighborhood mosque which he volunteers. Many of his friends came down to pay their respects as well. Many of my friends came down too, especially those whom I never thought would show up. After prayers, we set out to Choa Chu Kang Muslim Cemetery.
My younger brother, my brother-in-law and myself went into her grave to place her in her resting place. I requested to be holding her head so I can whisper my last goodbye in her ears before leaving her.
After the whole burial was completed with prayer recital, we slowly made our way home. I looked around at the people attending. I know that my mum was very closed to many. Both my brother and god-brother broke down during the final goodbye. My nephew was distraught throughout the whole ceremony. My father has been keeping himself occupied to hide his sorrow. Even in silence, I know how sad he was and that he doesn't want to show it.
I've lost my mum and I'm honored that she had prepared us for her passing. The whole ceremony was smooth as prepared by her in terms of monetary and directions. I am always glad of how my parents raised their children. I hope I didn't and wouldn't disappoint them.
Al-Fateha
